U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
