6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
bring money and cleavage
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Randomize
