So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
