Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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