Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Randomize
