It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
what day is it and did you see me today?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
