Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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