Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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