So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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