Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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