Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
