Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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