I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize