id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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