the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
