i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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