she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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