I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
