she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
