I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
