if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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