sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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