the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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