you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
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i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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