bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
