I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize