So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
