Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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