I should be sponsored by Trojan
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
