Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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