I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
