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forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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