the condom got lost in my hair
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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