I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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