Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
there is glitter all over my balls
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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