i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
