I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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