im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize