If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
