If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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