Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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