Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
