ADVERTISEMENT

• (256): View more from Alabama

  My hair reeks of homosexuality.

  Fav 17 1364 1120

  share tweet
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

  Fav 19 5148 1062

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.

  Fav 13 6090 994

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

  Fav 104 12824 1195

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

  Fav 11 1279 6860

  share tweet
  

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express

  Fav 3 3497 1183

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."

  Fav 16 6519 1251

  share tweet
  

• (936): View more from Texas

  The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.

  Fav 3 2501 1418

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

  Fav 4 1253 868

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?

  Fav 10 1082 727

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

  Fav 1 712 466

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.

  Fav 3 769 502

  share tweet
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!

  Fav 0 652 278

  share tweet
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.

  Fav 2 180 364

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (252): View more from North Carolina

  She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.

  Fav 0 96 3

  share tweet
  

Randomize