I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize