the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
