I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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