He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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