I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He shit in the fireplace
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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