Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
