this will be a night to untag.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
