I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
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Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.