Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
