Plan B is the new Plan A
are you so shy because you have an std?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples