i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.