She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
