i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
