Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
