Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
