I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
