Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
