Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
