i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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