"it" just moved
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
