JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
