these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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