Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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