I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she looked like the before picture.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
