help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
