how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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