girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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