I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
